In an effort to find ever younger drivers, Formula One teams have finally reached the youngest possible candidates: fetuses.
“Well, Jaime Alguersuari is making his debut at 19, so obviously the younger ages can cope with driving F1 cars,” said an anonymous team principal. “Therefore, we need to hire talent as early as possible, which involves hiring unborn babies. We have a complex process to isolate those babies with the greatest winning potential, which includes DNA scans, ultrasounds, and random choices based upon location.”
This raises an important question, though, which those at CTTR asked the mysterious principal: will this inspire breeding specifically to create a genetically engineered F1 driver?
“Well, though we haven’t yet accomplished that, it is in the future,” he said. “As soon as we develop the technology, we will indeed create F1 drivers from birth. This will allow us to control every aspect of the driver to result in the driver being an exact personality match with the team. Though if that happens, I hear McLaren is already looking into android technology…”