Archive for the ‘Driver Idiocy’ Category

Massa announces loss of mind

January 15, 2012

Felipe Massa’s at it again.  Ferrari’s clear Number Two just turns out to be full of Number Two, as evidenced here thanks to ESPN.

I for one approve of this: it means that Massa will continue at Ferrari in the grand Rubens Barrichello tradition before signing for a midpack team, such as the future Caterham.  At least, until they realize that, when they need drivers that can actually win races to acquire sponsorship cash, Massa, while previously fast, isn’t who he was before his 2009 Hungarian accident.  And in the process, he can make statements as Rubinho has, stating his frustration towards his team and their inability to provide a car that, like the 1997 Williams (driven by Villeneuve), a monkey can win races in.

To close, with a quote from Galaxy Quest:

“Never give up.  Never surrender.”

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Younger drivers goes to the absolute extreme

July 24, 2009

In an effort to find ever younger drivers, Formula One teams have finally reached the youngest possible candidates: fetuses.
“Well, Jaime Alguersuari is making his debut at 19, so obviously the younger ages can cope with driving F1 cars,” said an anonymous team principal.  “Therefore, we need to hire talent as early as possible, which involves hiring unborn babies.  We have a complex process to isolate those babies with the greatest winning potential, which includes DNA scans, ultrasounds, and random choices based upon location.”

This raises an important question, though, which those at CTTR asked the mysterious principal: will this inspire breeding specifically to create a genetically engineered F1 driver?
“Well, though we haven’t yet accomplished that, it is in the future,” he said.  “As soon as we develop the technology, we will indeed create F1 drivers from birth.  This will allow us to control every aspect of the driver to result in the driver being an exact personality match with the team.  Though if that happens, I hear McLaren is already looking into android technology…”

Putting Your Foot Down

June 16, 2009

After negotiations with FOTA on reaching an agreement on financial restrictions for 2010, the FIA have decided that the 45 million euro budget cap would be in effect for 2010.

Member teams of FOTA threatened to pull out of the 2010 campaign if that regulation stayed and form a breakaway series. All the teams competing this year have placed entries for 2010, and only 5 teams (Ferrari, Red Bull, Toro Rosso, Williams and Force India) have conditionally “agreed” to these regulations while 4 other teams, BMW, Brawn GP, Toyota and McLaren still have conditional entries and may still pull out and enter the FOTA breakaway if that were to happen.

Statement from the FIA:

As a result, the meeting could not achieve its purpose of comparing the FIA’s rules with the FOTA proposals with a view to finding a common position.

In default of a proper dialogue, the FOTA financial proposals were discussed but it became clear that these would not be capable of limiting the expenditure of a team which had the resources to outspend its competitors. Another financial arms race would then be inevitable.

The FIA Financial Regulations therefore remain as published.

Laziness, does NOT have it’s perks

June 14, 2009

Well after taking a little “vacation” from the blog, I’m back and with some big, big happenings of late going on in the F1 world. I’m going to try my best to be brief here, there’s many, many discussion points that have been controversial, at best.

  1. This past Friday, the FIA announced the 13 teams that would compete in the 2010 world championship, all 10 teams from this season, plus 3 new teams; USF1 Engineering, Campos Grand Prix and Manor
  2. Ferrari, Toro Rosso and Red Bull Racing have threatened to pull out of the 2010 campaign if the FIA does not change their minds on rule changes for next season, but according to the FIA, their entries are unconditional due to contractional obligations with sponsors and drivers
  3. Toyota, Renault, BMW, McLaren and Brawn GP are conditional entries, that are still unsure whether or not they will compete in 2010, if they do not uconditionally agree with the rules by this Friday, their entries will be dropped
  4. The only 2 teams that have officially accpeted the new regulations is Williams and Force India
  5. The rules that have caused so much conontroversy are a budget cap ($62 million US) for car development, and a bigger role of the teams in governing the sport, which doesn’t sit well with FOTA and its member teams
  6. FOTA has threatened to take their teams and form a breakaway series if the rule changes are not implemented (think CART and IndyCar split, except with a more valid reason)
  7. The European car makes in F1 have sided with FOTA and will follow them into a breakaway series if that were to happen
  8. Lewis Hamilton has said that he would follow McLaren/Mercedes-Benz wherever they decide to go
  9. I did my best to describe these quite confusing events, I probably messed something up here, and if I did, please leave a comment

Phew, what a post, when updates are available, I will post them.

Over, already? Nonsense…

April 19, 2009

After the worst first 3 races for Ferrari since the early 80s where both drivers have failed to score a championship point, Kimi Raikkonen believes that the Tifosi’s bid to win the championship is already over. The iceman was quoted this week at Shanghai saying that Ferrari are “never going to be in a position to win the championship (this year) but hopefully we can improve the car and try to win some races later on this season, that’s the realistic aim.”

Well I will admit that it’s been a rough start for the red cars, many of the teams who were thought to be contenders like McLaren and BMW have been struggling mightily as well. Until today, Heikki Kovalainen failed to complete 1-race lap, the Saubers of Kubica and Heidfeld have lost their way since Australia and Lewis Hamilton has found himself in uncharacteristic positions. All those teams have combined to score 12 points, which is nearly less than half of what Jenson Button has scored driving impressivley in the Brawn GP car.

So before Kimi can come out complaining that his season is over, he should look at the big picture, realizing that he’s a capable enough driver with a team who has won numerous championships. They’re just in a rough spot at the moment which everyone encounters at least once in their lives, it’s simply a matter or perserverance.

Jenson and Friends: epiosde 1 – Curious Jenson Gets in trouble

March 16, 2009
Jenson, youre looking at Flavios new wife again!

"Jenson, you're looking at Flavio's new wife again!"

Brawn GP team takes to the track, Force India’s silent debut

March 7, 2009

After Ross Brawn & other chief members of the Honda F1 team agreed to buy it out, the team took their car (which we’ll call the Brawn GP MK1 until an official name is released) to Silverstone for a shake down run with Jenson Button, who will team again with Rubens Barrichello (not Bruno Senna) for the 2009 championship.

Also, it appeared to my attention that the Force-India launched the VM002 a week ago without making any sort of fancy announcement or anything, only releasing these photos.

Two words you never hear together

December 14, 2008

Formula 1 and cheap. With the recent global economic downturn, the Honda team ceasing operations and putting themselves up for sale has forced the FIA to introduce cost cutting measures. These measures are effective January 1, 2009 and are listed below.

  • Engine life must be doubled (meaning instead of lasting 2 races, they must last 4, but for whatever reason teams can run 3 races)
  • Teams are limited to 8 race engines per driver and 4 test engines per driver (20 total)
  • Rev limit lowered to 18,000 RPM
  • Teams who purchase engines from manufactures will be discounted 50% from last year
  • No more testing during racing season, except on race practice days
  • No windtunnel testing beyond a 60% scale and a speed greater than 50 metres/second
  • Race factories to be closed 6 weeks out of the year to be inline with local laws
  • Less man power on race weekends, information between teammates must be shared (i.e. tyre pressures, fuel mileage) to avoid the usage of spotters

These measures are expected to save teams at least 30% from what they’ve spent in the past.

2009 Driver Lineups – Force India Mercedes (Confirmed)

December 14, 2008

After keeping us on the edge of our seats for a couple months, Vijay Mallya pulled a Sopranos, with the announcement that drivers Adrian Sutil and Giancarlo Fisichella would be reatained for the 2009 season after much speculation pointing to both drivers being out at Force India.

Where we are for 2009…

December 8, 2008

Well, here’s the list of confirmed drivers, and what we may expect from the rest; changes are in red.

Ferrari:  Kimi Raikkonen, Felipe Massa.  NO CHANGE

McLaren:  Lewis Hamilton, Heikki Kovalainen.  NO CHANGE

BMW-Sauber:  Nick Heidfeld, Robert Kubica.  NO CHANGE

Toyota:  Jarno Trulli, Timo Glock.  NO CHANGE

Renault:  Fernando Alonso, Nelson Piquet.  NO CHANGE

Red Bull:  Sebastian Vettel, Mark Webber.

Williams:  Nico Rosberg, Kazuki Nakajima.  NO CHANGE

Force India:  Giancarlo Fisichella, second driver to be decided

Toro Rosso:  None yet.

Honda:  Don’t know whether they’ll even be participating next year.

What ever happened to the Silly Season?!?!  This is all boring!

We need SUSPENSE!  We need unexpected driver changes!  We need Super Aguri!  We need…

ZSOLT BAUMGARTNER!